I recently read about a well-known Christian leader who shared publicly that he is taking a break from his leadership role to deal with his pride. Wow. That’s commendable and not an easy thing to do, especially when you are a highly visible leader! But what I found interesting is that he told his followers not to go looking for any scandal because there isn’t one. In other words, an extreme case of pride is not considered scandalous – only if it involved sex, drugs, embezzlement, or some other tantalizing secret.
How different this is from the description written by C.S. Lewis, the renowned writer and teacher from Oxford and Cambridge who penned these powerful words:
“According to Christian teachers, the essential vice, the utmost evil, is Pride. Unchastity, anger, greed, drunkenness, and all that, are mere flea bites in comparison: it was through Pride that the devil became the devil: Pride leads to every other vice: it is the complete anti-God state of mind … it is Pride which has been the chief cause of misery in every nation and every family since the world began.”
There is always a danger in writing about the failings of others when I have plenty of them myself. My pride alarm goes off multiple times each week, and that is only when I am listening enough to hear it. So, I am not writing this to critique this leader but rather to consider how I can protect myself from the pitfall of pride and encourage others to do the same – avoiding the accompanying misery that so often follows. Here are four pride “alarms” and what to do when they start going off.
Alarm #1: Not listening
Not listening includes failing to either listen to those around us or refusing to invite them to speak into our lives.
Positive action: Who are two respected, caring, and courageous people that you can ask to speak truth to you? And how will you know that they are speaking truth and that you are hearing correctly?
Alarm #2: Not seeing
Not seeing involves failing to see pride as dangerous and destructive just like its more alluring siblings of sex, alcohol, and money.
Positive action: Re-read this C.S. Lewis quote with a wise and trustworthy friend:
“According to Christian teachers, the essential vice, the utmost evil, is Pride. Unchastity, anger, greed, drunkenness, and all that, are mere flea bites in comparison: it was through Pride that the devil became the devil: Pride leads to every other vice: it is the complete anti-God state of mind … it is Pride which has been the chief cause of misery in every nation and every family since the world began.”
Is this how you see pride? If not, how do you see it?
Alarm #3: Not knowing
Not knowing means failing to understand how success and intelligence feed our natural propensity towards pride.
Positive action: How do you define “success”? Do you consider yourself to be a “success”? What is your level of education and training? How might your view of your success and your level of education be serving as nutrients for seeds of pride in your life?
Alarm #4: Not caring
Not caring involves failing to feel what others feel including the impact or consequences our pride has on others.
Positive action: How would you know how others really see you and feel about your impact in their lives? Would you know if they view you as toxic, arrogant, and damaging? Or, as encouraging, trustworthy, and genuinely caring? Do you want to know?
We are all a bit dented and broken, but that does not mean we cannot still lead, and even lead well. If we want to avoid the scandal of pride, we will need two things: trustworthy advisors and honest feedback.
“Pride leads to arguments; be humble, take advice, and become wise.” Proverbs 13:10 (TLB)
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Jay Desko is the CEO of The Center Consulting Group and brings experience in the areas of organizational assessment, leadership coaching, decision-making, and strategic questioning. Jay’s degrees include an M.Ed. in Instructional Systems Design from Pennsylvania State University and a Ph.D. in Organizational Behavior and Leadership from The Union Institute.