5 Defining Choices that Make or Break a Leader

Author Stephen Covey once said, “I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.” In other words, we become our decisions. Every decision we make as leaders defines who we are. So, if you want to be a leader who has a positive influence and substantive impact, here are five decisions that can make you or break you.

1. Character over Charisma

Everyone knows a charismatic leader – someone who is smooth with words, whose presence fills the room, and whose inspirational ideas attract others. Charismatic leaders are very talented and often very powerful. But what happens when the charisma overshadows their character? When their charm is superficial? When they keep people at enough of a distance to never see who they really are up close? It happens so often, and the outcomes are not pretty. When a leader’s charisma exceeds his or her character, there will eventually be damage to other people, families, reputations, and organizations. This is why a smart leader is also humble enough to ensure she has enough people around her to let her know when her charm is surpassing her character.

2. Skills over Talk

I bet you have met more than one person in leadership who is a “talker.” They talk about themselves, their accomplishments, their organizations, their hobbies… and on and on. I remember once being in a conversation with a leader, and at the end of it, the only thought I had was that this person uses talk to cover up his incompetence. That may sound a bit harsh, but there are more than a few people who have acquired positions of leadership who are not very skilled. But they know how to talk, and the talking provides them cover for less than stellar skills. A leader who wants to have the longest and most significant impact needs to continually learn, keep their skills well-developed and sharpened, and provide more deliverables than words.

3. Competency over Connections

Relational capital is vital to long-term leadership success. We often coach leaders on the importance of forming strong networks built upon trust and mutual benefit. But what happens when people are succeeding only because of their connections? When they get away with incompetence and, at times, even negligence simply because of their network of connections? I recently heard a story about a neurosurgeon who falls into this group. He caused devastating harm to dozens of patients, and yet his connections covered for him until a few people stood up and shouted “incompetent!” Wise leaders embrace both the importance of relational networking and competence building, never neglecting one for the other.

4. Personal Influence over Positional Power

Have you ever questioned an instruction or directive from an authority figure like a parent, coach, boss, or teacher and the response was, “Because I said so!”? I have heard that on many occasions. I once coached an employee whose boss was quick to remind her that “I am the boss here.” Positional power is at times both valid and needed. But using it should be our last recourse, not our first. A smart leader will most often choose to use influence first and power second. Why? Because influence causes less damage. Once you use the power card, you cannot easily reverse the consequence of it. While there are times a leader needs to use positional power in such cases as protecting the organization or its members, strive to first use your influence to change behavior. And make sure you are keeping your “influence bank account” as full as possible.

5. Service over Entitlement

Musicians. Politicians. Actors. Business leaders. Even pastors. The more elevated their popularity becomes, the more an entourage can be found following them, wanting to be seen with the “winner,” and grabbing the crumbs of status and success that may fall from their plate. Jesus had a close-knit group of followers, and two of them were gutsy enough to ask him if they could have the best seats next to him in Heaven! Now that is some serious entitlement. They did not ask him how they could help him in his mission or what they could do to serve others more effectively. They sought what many of us do – self-serving benefit and honor. When a leader chooses to serve others rather than to use them, they will model the highly important trait called “servant leadership.”

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Jay Desko is the CEO of The Center Consulting Group and brings experience in the areas of organizational assessment, leadership coaching, decision-making, and strategic questioning. Jay’s degrees include an M.Ed. in Instructional Systems Design from Pennsylvania State University and a Ph.D. in Organizational Behavior and Leadership from The Union Institute.