I have coached basketball for the past 30 years in some form. From coaching at Liberty High School (Bethlehem, PA) to serving as the character coach at Lehigh University, I have learned a number of lessons that have shaped who I am today. Here are several of the lessons I learned that I hope will serve you well, and I am so grateful for the incredible coaches who taught me these truths.
1. Relationships > Wins (and Losses)
From high school to college to Push The Rock, I have coached about 900 games. Those 900 games represent some of the highest of highs and lowest of lows in my coaching career. The best part of each of these games and seasons has been the relationships that have developed with players and coaches. Some of the most important people in my life have come from these seasons together. When you experience long bus rides, sold-out gymnasiums, and people calling you names from the stands, a connection develops that lasts a lifetime.
My Takeaway: The wins and losses lose their energy, but the relationships represent the best part of coaching. If you live for yourself, you will have nothing to show for it but yourself. The richness of these relationships is the greatest win and trophy of my life.
2. Coaching Is My Leveraged Passion
I am an average athlete at best. My high school basketball coach described me as a “dime a dozen.” Let’s just say that it was not a compliment. My college coach stopped practice one day to ask me to remove every pass I had in my repertoire of passing options. Like I said, I was an average basketball player. I did not have the ability to take my game to the next level, and I needed others to put me in a position to score the basketball. The disappointments of not playing a lot forced me to leverage my passion for athletics in other ways that complemented my strengths. These are several examples of leveraged passion.
In 1997, my good friend Pat Tannous and I started a sports ministry together called Push The Rock, and, 25 years later, it continues to reach athletes of all ages around the world. We never could have imagined the impact it would have on us as well as the places and people we served. We stayed in our lanes...he played, and I coached.
In June of 2022, I had the incredible privilege of officiating the wedding ceremony of a player from my first year of coaching, Tulio Santiago. This was one of my greatest days as a coach, and we are still close today.
In addition to my role at The Center Consulting Group, I serve as the character coach of the Lehigh University Men’s Basketball team. The game of basketball is what brought me to Lehigh, but the opportunity to invest in future leaders is an incredible gift and leverages my passion well.
My Takeaway: Take time to find out what you are truly passionate about. What excites you? What gives you an energy and bounce unlike anything else? Does a good part of your life include “I love what I do” or “I love the people in my life”? It might be your job, where you volunteer, serving at your church, playing with your kids, coaching a youth sports team, or giving life to others. It may not look exactly as you imagined, but it leverages a passion well.
3. Coaching Exposes the Strengths and Weaknesses of Your Character...at the Same Time
Some of my lowest character moments have come through athletics and competition. I remember a moment in college when I was fully prepared to skip the post-game handshake line after losing a national championship in soccer. Our assistant coach, who had a tremendous impact on my life, told me that what I chose to do in that moment would go a long way in determining my future, and he was right. Competition has built my character and revealed my character at the same moment, and while I am not proud of some of those low moments, they have been used to grow my faith and my character.
My Takeaway: Find a person, trusted advisor, coach, or truthteller who can offer you advice and words to grow your character. I don’t believe that most of us come wired to self-evaluate, so we need others we trust to do this for us. Who is the truthteller in your life?
4. Savor the “Moments”
I remember the joy and exhilaration of winning my first championship as a coach. It validated the endless hours of work that brought us to that point. I am still in contact with many of those players. The highest of highs are magical moments, but they do not come often.
The world's standard for leadership and achievement is often measured by the amount of territory, wealth, power, wins, and authority one amasses in a lifetime. If this is all we savor, we will live life always wanting more. I have found that “moments” exist each day if we have the right mental framework to see them. Savoring those small moments included enjoying the quiet of a late-night bus ride home, having my son sitting next to me on the bench at The University of North Carolina, and the satisfaction that comes from having a player ask you for advice on an internship or future relationship.
My Takeaway: Find joy in the “small moments” that receive far less attention and are not published on the front page of the internet. They come in shared experiences that happen each day and sit right in front of us if we are willing to see them. This is what gives life true meaning.
5. Coaching Is Selfless Sacrifice
Selfless sacrifice is wanting the absolute best for those around you even when it may cost you. Self-sacrifice is stepping into the gap for others without any expectation of what comes in return. This has been a core trait of my work with high school, college, and professional athletes in part because the performance trap that each group feels is VERY real regardless of the level. If you watch Disney World executives and leaders walk their parks, they do so with a tool to pick up trash. Cleanliness is an important value at Disney that the executives model from the top through this act of service.
My Takeaway: The further we ascend in leadership; the more selfless our sacrifice will become. Seasons of conflict, frustration, and disappointment can easily let self-pity creep in, and we quickly become inwardly focused. Selfless sacrifice for the benefit of others is a character trait of high-impact leaders and it moves us from an inward to outward focus.
Billy Dunn is a Senior Consultant at The Center Consulting Group and has over 20 years of church and nonprofit leadership experience. He serves as the Character Coach for the Lehigh University Men’s Basketball team and the Director of Ministry Leadership for Word FM. Billy has assisted with the launch of a number of nonprofit organizations and has worked with organizations and ministries across the world. Billy has an M.S. in Organizational Leadership and brings experience in the areas of leading change, leadership coaching, resource development, church growth planning, and strategic thinking and planning.
