In the past few months alone, I, along with many of our consultants and coaches here at The Center Consulting Group, have talked with dozens of leaders from all different backgrounds, and we continue to hear common themes that, in spite of what may be going right, they are facing serious challenges. Business owners, church pastors, and nonprofit directors alike. Some of those challenges are in their organizations, others are in their personal lives. Here are a few of the words that represent what is being expressed…
Troubles
Hardships
Distresses
Sleepless nights
Hard work
Relentless criticism
No one is immune to such seasons of life, including Christian leaders. Sometimes Christians are accused of and even guilty of making everything sound as though they are doing great, that God is providing a smooth path. But people know that is not authentic. The six phrases above are not new challenges. They come from the words of the Apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians 6, written over 2,000 years ago. He also uses other words to describe his life at that time, but I chose these six because they reflect what we hear most often today and are challenges I and members of our team have experienced.
If these words are similar to the ones you have recently felt or expressed, here are five actions to consider.
1. You are not alone.
Most leaders have or will experience what you are presently experiencing. When leaders feel overwhelmed by what they are facing, loneliness soon follows. And loneliness can feed depression, increase anxiety, and weaken the spirit. You are not alone. These feelings are very real to you but not unique to you. Remember, others have walked the same path and have come through it. You can too. And you will likely do better by resisting the temptation to isolate yourself.
2. Find one good confidant.
Your confidant can be a wise and trustworthy friend, pastor, counselor, or coach. We see this so often – when leaders are feeling overwhelmed, just talking it over provides them with a renewed spirit. This can be hard for leaders because they feel the responsibility to be “on top of things” and also fear being labeled as weak or damaged. The Old Testament book of Ecclesiastes (chapter 4) reminds us that two are better than one because when one falls, the other is there to help. And everyone will eventually fall down!
3. Faith helps.
New research shows young adults that regularly attend church feel significantly less anxious about the future than those who do not attend. The six words mentioned above from the Apostle Paul would be a bit depressing if you did not read the rest of his letter. He also says that in the midst of all of this, we live on, rejoicing in sorrow, and while having nothing, possessing everything. Seeking help from God is a wise starting place. Try finding a way that works for you to be quiet and listen. For some this involves music. For others it may be exercising or walking. Whatever works – make that noise go away from your brain so you can think and hear.
4. Serve others.
When things go poorly in our lives, we tend to focus on ourselves. Like blood rushing to a wound, quite often all of our attention can begin to be focused on ourselves and the problems we are facing. Since this happens so naturally, it is counter intuitive and counter cultural to focus on others while at the same time tending to your own needs. Many people experience a renewed spirit and greater sense of joy when they take a break from self-focus and move towards the needs of others. And this is what leaders are called to do – to look out for others.
5. Press on.
Just like the Bob Dylan song from years ago, we must press on. Endurance is one of the most important traits of leaders who lead long and finish well. The more popular term now is grit. It is grittiness that causes a leader to get back up when she has been knocked down. It is endurance that helps a leader to keep going when he feels like quitting. It is a spirit of relentlessness that causes a leader to serve another day even though she may feel like it is hopeless. I have coached a business owner and friend for a number of years who has been knocked down more than almost anyone I know. But he is so resilient; nothing keeps him down! That is pressing on.
Contact us to learn how our experienced coaches can help you navigate the challenges of leadership!
Jay Desko is the CEO of The Center Consulting Group and brings experience in the areas of organizational assessment, leadership coaching, decision-making, and strategic questioning. Jay’s degrees include an M.Ed. in Instructional Systems Design from Pennsylvania State University and a Ph.D. in Organizational Behavior and Leadership from The Union Institute.
