Soldiers who stand strong in battle. Leaders who refuse to quit even when pummeled by overwhelming obstacles. Parents who forge rough waters with a struggling child. They all have something in common: endurance. While there are always high-profile examples, there are also an extraordinary number of “invisible” men, women, and kids who have shown amazing strength under extreme circumstances. What makes these people so awesome is just how normal or average they really are. Not super-humans. Just regular people standing strong in the midst of very hard events. Here are the five factors I believe separate victors from quitters.
1. Preparation
Like so many others, I have sometimes preferred to live my life in a bit of denial. “If I eat a cream-filled donut for breakfast every day in my thirties, I will be perfectly healthy in my fifties.” “If I live life ‘runnin' and gunnin'’ when I am younger, I will be a well-grounded and well-rounded leader when I am older.” But victors know that preparation matters. They don’t ignore thinking about challenges that may emerge or difficulties that may arise. They not only think about them, but they also plan for them. In other words, they delay gratification and prepare now for later.
2. Mission
Victors are people who have a compelling reason why they cannot and must not quit. Over the past 7 years, I have watched a friend be an amazing caregiver and wife to a husband who suffered catastrophic injuries in an accident. Driving him. Taking care of the house. Managing medical appointments. And countless other things. Why? Because she believes she is on a mission from God – to love, care for, and support her husband, just as she had committed to do during those better days.
3. Courage
During World War I, over 1.7 million Americans fought in horrific conditions. There were times when the war was so brutal; the French and British lost 1 million soldiers each year for three years! During one particular battle that was not going well for the Americans, a soldier asked regimental commander Colonel John “Gatlin Gun” Parker if they should retreat (that name should tell you something!). His response was, “You stick there until hell freezes over and then skate on the ice.” That is courage, and courage is a vital characteristic of victors.
4. Hope
In a 2013 article in Psychology Today, Dale Archer, M.D., said, “If I could find a way to package and dispense hope, I would have a pill more powerful than any antidepressant on the market. Hope, is often the only thing between man and the abyss. As long as a patient, individual or victim has hope, they can recover from anything and everything.” This is why so many Christians throughout history were able to stand strong even in the midst of torture. They had hope that God’s promises of a better future would prevail. Take a look at any person you know who is a victor in the midst of difficulty, and you will find a person who still has hope.
5. Camaraderie
Camaraderie has everything to do with friendship, mutual support, and deep trust. You often hear about it with certain sports teams, military units, work teams, and among people who have experienced a shared type of suffering such as divorce or the loss of a loved one. The reason camaraderie is such a vital factor is that victors are not super-human. They need others and do better with help from others. Researchers have shown that social isolation and loneliness can serve as breeding grounds for depression, anxiety, workplace injuries, and a variety of physical ailments. In contrast, those who have a trusted group of people receive support, accountability, and encouragement.
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Jay Desko is the President & CEO of The Center Consulting Group and brings experience in the areas of organizational assessment, leadership coaching, decision-making, and strategic questioning. Jay’s degrees include an M.Ed. in Instructional Systems Design from Pennsylvania State University and a Ph.D. in Organizational Behavior and Leadership from The Union Institute.
