How much money can a movie make about a guy named Buddy (played by Will Ferrell) who thinks he is an elf because he was raised by them and sets out to meet his real father? Almost a quarter of a BILLION dollars since it came out in 2003! That’s a whole lot of Christmas cheer! I often find that when a movie develops a dedicated following, that usually means it is a good one and there are valuable lessons to be gleaned. So as we head into the Christmas season this year, consider these six leadership lessons from the movie Elf.
1. Be slow to dismiss people just because they are quirky.
As a newborn baby, Buddy was abandoned and his father Walter never even knew he existed. He never had the opportunity to build a connection with his son. However, some leaders choose to be emotionally and socially distant from people. And when they have the opportunity to take a courageous step and reach out or rebuild, they freeze. Sometimes it may be due to fear of rejection or feeling overwhelmed and ill-equipped. Other times it may be a hardened and self-centered spirit that does not feel a need for others or feels a sense of superiority. Regardless of the cause, it is never too late to establish or restore a relationship with a team member, spouse, child, or friend. In the end, Walter not only did it with Buddy but with his younger son as well. Good relationships with your team members result in a stronger and more attractive culture, a more emotionally healthy staff, and way more fun.
2. Everyone is gifted, it just needs to be discovered.
“Pursue what you love!” Baby boomers often cringe when hearing this often-repeated phrase told to Millennials and Gen Z. Boomers would prefer the phrase, “Pursue what pays your bills!” But both are true. Working at a job or task you hate for 40 years is painful. So, it is worth pursuing education/training and identifying where you are gifted. But if there are no options to be paid for doing what you are passionate about, it says a lot about your character to still show up every day and work. This was true of Buddy who felt like he was not a good elf but rather a “cotton-headed ninny muggins”! But in the end, he discovered was exceptional at bringing hope to people.
3. It’s never too late to restore a relationship.
As a newborn baby, Buddy was abandoned by his father Walter. I wonder what goes through the mind of a parent who walks away from a child. Sometimes it is due to fear and shame or feeling overwhelmed and ill-equipped. Other times it may be a hardened and self-centered spirit that does not feel any empathy toward others. And for others, it is anger and bitterness. Regardless of the cause, it is never too late to restore a relationship with a team member, spouse, child, or friend. In the end, Walter not only did it with Buddy but also with his younger son.
4. Don’t be a jerk or you may end up alone (and on The Naughty List).
You do not need to have a Ph.D. or read extensive research from organizational psychologists to conclude that no one wants to work for a jerk. And unfortunately, such leaders often do get promoted in spite of, and at times because of, being a jerk. Such leaders are known for being hostile, bullying, failing to show interest in others, and having unrealistic expectations. And that is a fairly accurate description of the character Fulton Greenway, the boss who only cared about himself and his goals done his way. And by being a jerk, he lost a dedicated long-term employee (Walter). So if we want to create sticky teams and relationships, we would be wise to not be like Fulton Greenway!
5. Happiness is contagious.
When we are around happy people, it is harder to be sad. And the opposite is true as well. Emotions spread. This is what researchers refer to as emotional contagion. Nicholas Christakis, professor of medical sociology says that both bad and good moods can rub off on others, “Just as some diseases are contagious, we’ve found that many emotions can pulse through social networks.” So, remember that your mood as a leader is contagious and follow the advice of Buddy when you interact with others: “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.” And of course, don’t forget to smile. As Buddy would say, “I just like to smile. Smiling’s my favorite.”
6. Everyone needs an advocate.
Younger leaders. New team members. Employees who are struggling. At some point in life, everyone will need an advocate – someone who provides encouragement, shows support, and promotes the well-being of others. In the movie Elf, that was Emily, Buddy’s stepmom and Walter’s wife. Let’s face it, Buddy was odd and annoying and would be an easy target for the intolerance of someone like Walter. But it was Emily who used her influence and credibility to persuade Walter to give Buddy a chance. I have seen it many times over the past 35 years where an advocate can be a game changer in life and leadership.
This Christmas, millions of people will watch movies like Elf, attend a religious service, exchange gifts, and spend time with family and friends. For those of us from the Christian faith, we believe that on that Christmas day over 2,000 years ago, God provided us with the ultimate Advocate for all of us that have fallen far short – Jesus. He pleads our case. He sacrifices on our behalf. He provides strength. He meets us where we are. He never gives up on us. He is our champion!
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Jay Desko is the CEO of The Center Consulting Group and brings experience in the areas of organizational assessment, leadership coaching, decision-making, and strategic questioning. Jay’s degrees include an M.Ed. in Instructional Systems Design from Pennsylvania State University and a Ph.D. in Organizational Behavior and Leadership from The Union Institute.
