I am a 64-year-old, 5’8” slightly chunky guy who last played basketball in 8th grade at FDR Middle School and has the singing voice of a frog. So, I feel like I am more than qualified to give advice to Caitlin Clark, the record-breaking basketball player and social media star, and Luke Combs, one of the fastest-growing country artists, right?!
While I am confident these influencers would have very little interest in advice from “the chunky guy who sounds like Kermit,” their amazing skills and rocket rise to fame have captured my interest and also reminded me of how vulnerable they and other rapidly rising leaders are. Being 64 makes me “old,” but it has also given me about 14,852 days of experience watching leaders both rise and fall on the rise to the top. If by chance Caitlin, Luke, or any rapidly rising leader was interested in how to guard themselves, here are the lessons I would share.
1. Pick at least two trusted advisors.
Beyond the need for highly trustworthy legal and financial counsel, you should have one or two people who are wise, do not need anything from you, and are not mesmerized by your success. These people serve as exceptional confidants who will listen, help you make wise decisions, and be a safe place to process life and decisions. And they are not afraid to tell you the truth even if you do not want to hear it. They are, in a sense, guardians of your heart and your life. The recent rise and fall of Sam Bankman-Fried is an example of a young person who, in a matter of a few years, became the 41st richest person in the U.S. only to lose it all and go to prison for fraud. In reading his story, one of the things that struck me was his failure to surround himself with wise counsel.
2. Limit your diet of media.
Many people aspire to reach the status of uber success, but I am thankful that didn’t happen to me. It must be awesome to have raving fans who praise you often. But the ubiquitous, ever-present cycle of opinions, critiques, and comparisons found in social media is far more likely to poison your soul than to build up your life. I love soft pretzels and pizza (really anything made with dough and cheese), but a diet that takes in too much of these foods will not end well. The same is true for social media – too much will seldom result in anything more than damaged emotional health.
3. Select your “friends” carefully.
Have you ever seen a line of ants on the floor heading toward a crumb of food? Well, the more you rise up in success, the more you will find a stream of people lined up to be your “friend.” But be assured, they will want something from you. They want access to your influence or your money. So, pick your friends carefully. Friends look out for your best interest, are there for you regardless of fame or fortune, and will help you at your worst, not just show interest at your best. The writer of Proverbs said it well: Good friends “stick by you like family.”
4. Remind yourself daily that success is fleeting while significance is eternal.
If success is defined by fame and fortune, it has a limited life span. Those who were world-renowned business leaders, pastors, musicians, and athletes only a few decades ago are irrelevant now – especially regarding fame. There is a life cycle to fame, and only a fool believes they will remain notable in perpetuity (meaning “forever!”). Significance is different – it is investing in people and causes that will outlive you. I read a book by a popular author and radio personality who uses his influence to advance the cause of an organization that provides medical services to poverty-stricken people and countries. That’s an example of significance over success.
5. Guard yourself – you are one misstep away from being sidelined.
As I write this, I just read the news about the top two leaders of a large and influential Christian organization who confessed to inappropriate adult relationships including with each other. The organization they led has influenced thousands of leaders, churches, and organizations around the world. These two highly influential leaders obviously made multiple missteps including against their families, their clients, and against God. Not one of us is perfect. We are hard-wired to trip and fall in any number of areas of life which is why we need others to help guard us. Mistakes happen – but so does damage.
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Jay Desko is the President & CEO of The Center Consulting Group and brings experience in the areas of organizational assessment, leadership coaching, decision-making, and strategic questioning. Jay’s degrees include an M.Ed. in Instructional Systems Design from Pennsylvania State University and a Ph.D. in Organizational Behavior and Leadership from The Union Institute.
