There are different types of fatigue – muscle fatigue that results from excessive exercise (not one that I experience very often), giving fatigue that develops when people are asked far too often for money, caregiving fatigue that often emerges when people are providing help to someone who is sick or experiencing a long-term disability, and even parenting fatigue for when your kids just wear you out! But there is another fatigue we commonly see in our work with leaders: serving fatigue.
Serving fatigue is common in a number of professions and roles including medicine, counseling, pastoring, leading, and the work of board governance, to name just a few. Here are some of the most common causes of serving fatigue and a few suggestions for managing it in your life.
8 Causes of Serving Fatigue
1. Seeing too much “ugly.”
People who have to deal with other people often and up close, get to see the ugly. Selfishness. Deception. Anger. Conflict. Manipulation. These are a few of the “uglies” experienced by those who work closely with others, getting to see behind the curtain of their public lives. And while we all have the propensity for being ugly at times, especially in our treatment of others, an excessive amount of this will surely result in serving fatigue.
2. Seeing the not so pretty interior of organizations.
Similar to seeing the sometimes ugly behaviors of people, some leaders and board members also get to see the organization’s messiness that is present behind the boardroom doors. Behind those doors, there can be in-fighting, poor use of finances, sloppy leadership, and poorly executed planning. When leaders have an over-abundance of exposure to such messiness, disillusionment can creep in and bring an unwanted guest – fatigue.
3. Losing that sense of magic.
Disney World is a great place to visit. But I would imagine that if you talk to the people who have worked there for a while, not everything is magical! People are often attracted to that perceived sense of “special.” For example, gifted women and men volunteer to serve on the board of a church or a nonprofit because of its compelling mission. But sometimes it does not take long before they see inadequate leadership or, even worse, bad behavior. And the magic results in nothing but an illusion. If this happens too often and for too long, fatigue sets in.
4. Inability to make timely decisions.
In most cases, people really do want to make a difference. A doctor wants to heal. A police officer wants to protect. A pastor wants to guide. And a board member wants to govern. But the constant presence of bureaucracy, inefficiency, and indecisiveness can deaden the human spirit as fast water to a fire. Motivated people want to see their efforts result in actionable decisions, and when that is not happening, fatigue begins to grow.
5. “I want your support, not your counsel.”
Some leaders act like they want the insights and counsel of others, but deep down, they may only want your money or your help at accomplishing their agenda. When motivated and highly talented people see this, they begin to feel used rather than utilized. And no one likes to be taken advantage of because it not only feels bad – it also adds to serving fatigue.
6. Boredom.
Excessive boredom is deadly to the human soul. God created us to have a positive impact on others. Boredom and its sibling monotony can drain your passion, steal your joy, and help you quickly become depressed. Despite the importance of serving roles, people in these roles can start to find the work to be far too slow, causing them to wonder, “What else could I be doing right now that would be energizing to me and helpful to others?” Simply put, boredom breeds fatigue.
7. Thanklessness.
As most parents can testify, if you have kids in order to be thanked a lot, you will be disappointed often. The same is true for serving – if you serve in order to be shown appreciation, it will not take long to become disillusioned. Serving can be a thankless job. And for those in volunteer roles, especially boards, it is a double-whammy. They often have to make unpopular decisions which result in not only not being thanked, but sometimes being despised! A constant absence of “thanks” can add to serving fatigue.
8. Law of compounding stress.
All of the above can contribute to serving fatigue, but there’s often more to it. All of us come to our serving roles with other factors at play in our lives. Marriage dynamics, job pressures, health issues, and complexity with children are just a few of the many other factors that compound stress and contribute to serving fatigue. Sometimes, the perceived trigger for our fatigue may only be the tip of the iceberg. Below the surface, many other factors are at play which are invisible to others and sometimes even to ourselves.
5 Steps to Manage Serving Fatigue
While there is no simple solution to eliminate serving fatigue, here are a few things to keep in mind.
1. Monitor your fatigue.
We can’t manage what we are not aware of. Reflect on your fatigue level, and if you feel some level of serving fatigue, what is contributing to it?
2. Conduct a motive check.
It can be helpful to think about what we are expecting and if our expectations are realistic. Is my motive to be thanked? To be appreciated? To be honored? Or is it to serve? Service is not about me. It’s about others.
3. Take a break.
When possible, taking a break from serving in a particular role can be helpful for reducing fatigue and renewing your vision and energy. There really are benefits to rotating off of a board, especially if the board meets often and deals with a lot of difficult and stressful things.
4. Change your environment.
Sometimes a change of job or role is the right prescription. While people today often do this too often and too quickly, there are times when change is not only appropriate, but essential.
5. Focus on solutions.
Don’t become a victim. Instead, be proactive. When fatigue is setting in and we start to feel under-utilized or bored, we should ask ourselves what we can do to renew our energy, to make things better, and to offer help to others. Take an active role in breaking the fatigue cycle.
Contact us to learn how our experienced coaches can assist you in growing in your leadership!
Jay Desko is the CEO of The Center Consulting Group and brings experience in the areas of organizational assessment, leadership coaching, decision-making, and strategic questioning. Jay’s degrees include an M.Ed. in Instructional Systems Design from Pennsylvania State University and a Ph.D. in Organizational Behavior and Leadership from The Union Institute.
