The opposite of excelling is not “failing” – it is being “OK.” “Acceptable.” “Good enough.” You can see it in athletics, sales, academics, and business. A smaller number of people rise up and stand out. It does not mean that they are #1 – only that they outshine the majority of others on the athletic field or in their profession. And while some of those who excel are uniquely gifted, we know that it takes more than talent to explain why they stand out. Especially since there are plenty of very talented people who remain average when compared to their peers. I am fascinated by the stories of people who stand out in exceptional ways. The Division 1 athlete who is also a neurosurgeon. The poor and neglected child who not only goes to college but to graduate school. Or the trouble-making kid who ends up as a Navy Seal. Here are six reasons why some people excel (and why others remain average).
1. They stay relentlessly focused.
Successful entrepreneurs, medical professionals, athletes, and lawyers (to name a few) have one thing in common – the ability to stay relentlessly focused despite countless distractions and temptations. While those around them are gaming, partying, traveling Europe, and sleeping in, these people are practicing, studying, and keeping their eyes on the prize. Proverbs 4:25 says, “Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you.” Those who stay focused avoid distractions.
2. They postpone immediate gratification.
Sleep in, or work out. Work overtime, or out first. Settle for OK, or pursue excellence. Quit school, or study more. People who excel are not superior humans. They desire pleasure, rest, and fun just like everyone else. The difference is they manifest the will and discipline to say, “Not right now.” I was talking to a guy with a young family who was repairing the heat and air system in my house. He had recently started his own business – up early, working long hours in heat and cold, doing estimates, sending invoices, hiring employees to expand his business, etc. It would be so much easier for him to work his 40 hours and be done. But he is postponing short-term gratification for long-term benefits for himself and his family.
3. They are gratified by the challenge itself.
How does Dr. Paul Farmer, a Harvard-educated medical doctor with a Ph.D. in medical anthropology, teach and practice medicine in the U.S. and spend months each year in Haiti bringing medical care to those with very little of it? This is not delayed gratification, instead, it is being gratified by the very work itself. When people who excel postpone gratification, it means they will deny themselves until a future time. However, with Dr. Farmer, it seems like his passion for helping those in need became the source of his gratification. While delaying gratification is a worthy trait of those who excel, it is even better when we can be gratified by the work we are doing, even over prestige and wealth.
4. They have champions and cheerleaders.
I read a lot of memoirs and biographies because I find the stories of people’s lives to be fascinating (at least some people). One common thread in these stories is that the people who rose up out of difficulty or who experienced great success all had at least one champion or cheerleader (and often more than one). They had people who encouraged, challenged, advocated, and supported them in both small and big ways. Those who are successful know it took more than just their talent and effort. They recognize the role of their champions as one reason they have excelled, including those who helped to open doors for them.
5. They take calculated risks.
In 1984, at the age of 33, Dr. Ben Carson of Johns Hopkins University was the youngest chief of pediatric neurosurgery in the country. Then, in 1987, he led a team of 70 people in a 22-hour surgery to successfully separate conjoined twins connected at the back of the head. This was the first time it was ever done. He continued to have an amazing medical career. But like every person who excels, he did so by taking calculated risks. It is almost impossible to find a highly successful person who did not take risks.
6. They refuse to quit at the first sign of difficulty.
I read the story of a young woman who had planned to attend the Air Force Academy and become a fighter pilot from the time she was in middle school. She was exceptional in both sports and academics and had stellar recommendations. And when she was finally able to apply to the Air Force Academy, she was rejected. Instead of accepting the rejection, she started writing to them almost weekly explaining why she wanted to be there, how hard she would work, and how she would not let them down. And, it worked! They eventually changed their decision and accepted her, and she graduated at the top of her class. That is called refusing to quit!
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Jay Desko is the President & CEO of The Center Consulting Group and brings experience in the areas of organizational assessment, leadership coaching, decision-making, and strategic questioning. Jay’s degrees include an M.Ed. in Instructional Systems Design from Pennsylvania State University and a Ph.D. in Organizational Behavior and Leadership from The Union Institute.
