Family Business: Will the Family Business Destroy Our Family? [VIDEO]

87% of businesses in the U.S. are family-owned or operated, which creates a field of opportunities for those in those family businesses. But it’s also a field that may have a few landmines in it. So, will the family business destroy your family? Here are the opportunities and landmines found in family businesses, and how you can avoid those landmines in yours.

Benefits of Family Businesses

Let’s start with the good news. Family business provide…

1. Great Opportunity

Family businesses are a great opportunity for family members to join their family, to become part of growing a family business, and to find great opportunities within that family business to express themselves.

2. Deep Commitment

Commitment is part of a family business – commitment to one another, to working together, and to building something to pass on to multiple generations.

3. Close Relationships

One of the beautiful opportunities in a family business is we get to work with the people we love. Relationships at home find their way into the workplace, and there’s a sense of comfort and connection that many businesses don’t enjoy if they are not a family business.

4. Shared Values

It is wonderful when a family can express their shared values in how they run a business, treat their employees, and handle the wealth and opportunities within their business.

5. Family Legacy

And finally, what a great way for a family legacy to be passed on to multiple generations.

These are all great pieces of news for a family business.

Family Business Landmines

But, will this wonderful family business tear your family apart? As I said earlier, there are landmines in a family business that we need to think about and address.

1. Founder’s Syndrome

First and foremost is founder’s syndrome. Businesses, and particularly family businesses, often have a founder, the person who had the idea, was the driver of the business, and had a vision and mission in mind. Passing that on to the next generation comes with challenges, including, “When do I let go?” and, “How do I let it go to the next generation who might do it differently?”

2. Big Shoes to Fill

The flip side of this is those people coming next have big shoes to fill. They may not be mom or dad. They might be different and want to do things their own way. You can see how the rub between founder’s syndrome and filling those big shoes can be a problem.

3. Sibling Rivalry

Let’s also remember that there’s a challenge that can be expressed through sibling rivalry. Not all of us have the same set of skills or the same aptitude for certain businesses, and if we require that everything be equal all the time, you can see how we might create some challenges between those siblings.

4. Entitlement

Let’s address another hard topic, and that’s called entitlement. Generations who are joining a family business may feel that they are owed an opportunity or a place in the family business just because they share the last name. That entitlement can get in the way of being focused on the mission and what value they are bringing to the company, and it can lead to a sense of malaise across the company.

5. “I’m Trapped!”

The flip side of entitlement can be the sense of feeling trapped in the family business. Because I share the last name or because mom or dad started the company, I now feel like it’s my obligation and role to continue that. What if I have a different calling? What if I’ve been prepared to do something else in life, or I’m going to step away from the family business for a while? If I feel trapped, you’re not going to get the best of me.

6. Role Confusion

And the final landmine is frankly just role confusion. Am I a family member? Am I a business owner? Am I an employee? Am I a boss? And which hat am I wearing at different times? You can see how, in a family business, those things can blend together and result in a lot of confusion if we are not clear about what hat I am wearing at any given time.

How to Avoid the Landmines

So how do we step around those important landmines?

1. Founder’s Syndrome = Embrace your stewardship.

For the founders, it’s important to embrace your stewardship. Good stewards know that they are not eternal, it never was theirs to begin with, that they are going to pass it along to someone else.

2. Big Shoes to Fill = Dare to allow different.

For the next generation coming in, it’s the opportunity to say we might do things a little differently. We have not just big shoes to fill but big opportunities that we can take and grow the company in new directions.

3. Sibling Rivalry = It’s not a zero-sum game.

And if we’re worried about sibling rivalry, it’s important to know that life is not a zero-sum game. I don’t get less just because you’ve gotten more. In fact, there’s plenty to go around. In a business, we want to be looking for opportunities rather than, “Did Johnny get more than I did?”

4. Entitlement = Earn your way.

Any family business must allow the opportunity and the expectation that we will earn our way. That’s how we do away with entitlement. We have to find our path and what we can contribute to the company.

5. I’m trapped! = Allow for different callings.

If a person is feeling trapped in a family business or feeling contained in some way, remember that it’s okay to look for that next calling and even see how your participation in the family business to date has prepared you for the next step. Make sure the family business allows for this. It can be a great success for a family member to move on and create something else.

6. Role Confusion = Know your role.

And finally, the big one, know your role. I might be an employee, I might be a boss, I might be a board member, and/or I might be an owner. But I’ll always be a family member.

How We Can Help

At The Center Consulting Group, we do a lot of work with family businesses. One of our first entries into working with a family is succession planning. Who’s coming next in line to lead the company forward? That often involves some leadership coaching to help develop the next generation and adapt their skills to stepping into that right role.

In a family business, there will be conflicts. There’ll be conflicts because we’re a business and we have problems to solve. And there’ll be conflicts because we’re a family and families have conflicts. How we bring those conflicts together, work through them, and create solutions that allow family to be family and business to push forward is important.

Lastly, it’s important to look at the big picture. Where is this business going? It’s a wonderful opportunity for family members to come together and do some very focused strategic planning on where are we now and where are we going? What are the challenges and what are the opportunities? How will each family member participate in that future plan?

Paul Keisling is a Senior Consultant at The Center Consulting Group and has over 40 years of experience in building, leading, and operating organizations. His areas of interest and expertise are organizational health, leadership coaching, team development, conflict resolution, and succession planning. Paul serves on several nonprofit boards and was a founding board member of Chariots for Hope - an organization that oversees Children's Homes across the country of Kenya. He holds a Master of Social Work from Temple University, studied theology and counseling at Westminster Seminary, and is a Certified Psychiatric Rehabilitation Practitioner.