7 Signs That You Really Are a Leader

So many interesting and trendy terms are being used for leadership these days, just have a look at LinkedIn. In addition to the common ones like CEO, Founder, Executive Director, and Manager, you will see titles like Chief People Officer, Spiritual Director, Chief Storyteller, Life Coach, and Cultural Architect (really?!). People are infatuated with the concept of leadership. We have seen this many times over the years of teaching, consulting, and coaching with people expressing their desire to get promoted and become senior-level players in their organizations. But, how do you know if you are truly leading? Here are seven signs that you really are a leader.

1. Your team chooses to follow you rather than feels forced to follow you.

If you see someone claiming to be a leader but is using bullying or threats to get people to follow them – they are anything but a leader. Why? Because leaders depend on influence for gathering followers rather than coercion. Leaders depend on relationship, competence, and trust, not manipulation, threat, and title. Every leader should be humble and teachable enough to discover, “Is my team following me by choice or by coercion?”

2. You are having a few sleepless nights.

Leadership is stressful. Not all the time, but often. There are hard decisions to make. Personnel to manage. Changes to implement. These are the elements of leadership, and there are no guarantees your decisions will prove to be correct. Because of this, most leaders do experience some hard nights. So, if you have some sleepless nights due to the weight of a leadership decision, that is not only normal, it is also a reminder that leaders carry burdens on behalf of their organizations.

3. You are feeling some fears, insecurities, or doubts.

If a leader acts excessively confident all the time, either he is faking it or he is a bit abnormal. Leaders are often faced with situations that can and sometimes do go off the rails with just one misstatement or misstep. This can surface doubts regarding your competency, and elevate fears of losing your job, being demonized, or perhaps being sued. So, if you have no fear and doubt, you may have more to fear than you know.

4. You are taking some risks that have no guarantees of success.

Related to #2 and #3, a leader who takes no risks is not worthy of the position. I was recently talking to a good friend who runs a large organization. He spent a truckload of money on preparations to open his organization during the pandemic. It was a big risk. If things go bad, he can lose a significant amount of money. But the vision of most organizations requires taking risks, and leaders know there are no guarantees of success.

5. You are hearing some criticism about you or your organization.

Compliments feel good, right? We all love to be affirmed and told how valuable and important we are. But criticism? That doesn’t feel good to most people. Jesus warned against the dangers of when everyone speaks well of you. Why? Because a leader is often in a position that will result in some people despising him or her. A friend of mine once said, “Leadership can feel like being pecked to death by ducks!” So, if you have no peck marks, you are either in a nice lull or you may not be leading much.

6. You do not ask your team to do anything you are unwilling to do.

A few years ago, while preparing for a conference, I heard a young team member make an observant comment about his boss: “Everyone is helping to set up chairs except him!” While there could have been a legitimate explanation for why the boss was not helping, it does elevate the importance of leading by serving and that real leaders are willing to get dirty themselves. In other words, rather than just being “tellers,” they are “modelers.”

7. You are often and genuinely affirmed by others for your leadership.

When a person models positive leadership strengths, people take notice. Especially other talented leaders. When I was a young guy (to tell you how long ago that was, I only knew two people with cell phones!), one of the people I looked up to as a leader and mentor often affirmed my leadership skills and potential. He did this through notes, by sharing it over a meal, and by creating new leadership opportunities that would stretch me. His affirmation served as a confidence builder and growth enhancer. So, pay attention to what you are hearing from others.

How many of these signs are true of you?

If you are a leader experiencing sleepless nights or doubts, contact us to learn how our expert consultants can assist you by bringing an outside perspective.

Jay Desko is the CEO of The Center Consulting Group and brings experience in the areas of organizational assessment, leadership coaching, decision-making, and strategic questioning. Jay’s degrees include an M.Ed. in Instructional Systems Design from Pennsylvania State University and a Ph.D. in Organizational Behavior and Leadership from The Union Institute.