10 Things I Wish Someone Told Me When I Was a Young Leader

One thing every leader has in common is that we were young at some point – some far longer ago than others! We all would have benefited from hearing certain advice as younger leaders. Here are the 10 pieces of advice I found to be most important in my experience.

1. There are unlimited “good things” to pursue – so avoid distractions and stay focused.

The younger we are and the more talent we possess, the more often we are tempted to pursue every shiny thing that emerges. It’s not likely that a physical therapist can also be a neurosurgeon. It’s not likely that an Olympic gymnast can also compete as an Olympic swimmer. The better you want to be at something, the more it will require laser-like focus.

2. You are not fragile – life will be hard, but you are more resilient than you think.

Younger leaders have been sent a message that weakens them: “You are fragile and must be protected from things that hurt.” This results in pain avoidance rather than greater pain tolerance. No pain – no growth. Just like in physical exercise, it takes pain to grow stronger and increase grit. So, discomfort is not our enemy.

3. The higher you rise – the less people will tell you the truth.

The more gifted you are, the more you will advance in your leadership career, but fewer people will speak the truth to you. Usually, this happens because they fear the potential loss of a job or relationship. They feel they have too much to lose. So, as young leaders advance, they would be wise to carefully elevate the volume of the negative feedback they hear and intentionally lower the volume of their admirers.

4. Compromise is not a cuss word – it will be vital to your long-term success. 

In their excellent book, The 12 Bad Habits That Hold Good People Back, authors James Waldroop and Timothy Butler identify that seeing the world in black and white too often can cause harm to both the leader and the organization: “Remember, life is a long campaign, and if you risk death in every battle, your chance of fighting on and winning the war are pretty slim.” What do you call a husband or wife who never compromises? Divorced! Wise leaders learn to compromise at the right time and for the right things.

5. Don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself – but do so with a spirit of humility.

The Apostle Paul said that we are to not only look out for our own interests but also for the interests of others. Some younger leaders fear that by advocating for themselves, they might be viewed as too pushy. Others advocate for themselves as though they were a top NFL recruit when they have only played for their local college. Whether it is about salary or advancement opportunities, don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself – but do it with a spirit of humility.

6. You will make mistakes – own them, and people will trust you more.

If I added up all of the mistakes I made in my 20s and 30s, I would need far more fingers than 10. While I wish I was perfect and never disappointed others, that is just not possible for most of us. I love the words from neurosurgeon and Harvard professor Dr. Atul Gawande in his book Better: A Surgeon's Notes on Performance.

“As a surgeon, I will perform about 350 operations in the next year—everything from emergency repair of strangulated groin hernias to removal of thyroid cancers. For six, maybe eight patients—roughly 2 percent—things will not go well. They will develop life-threatening bleeding. Or I will damage a critical nerve. Or I will make a wrong diagnosis.”

Mistakes come with being human. Bad social media post? Fudging the truth? Forgot to follow up? Rather than deny or lie, just own it. People will trust you more.

7. Credibility is fragile – guard it like your bank account.

Credibility is like currency – you will need a lot of it to go far and high. But the younger we are, the fewer credibility coins we have in our bank. Just like with our money, it takes time and multiple accomplishments to accumulate credibility. And, it only takes a few bad choices or actions to drain it. Behaviors like theft, lying, and sexual impropriety can drain it in minutes. Other behaviors like failing to follow through or to answer a call or email can drain it over time. Credibility is fragile, so guard it carefully.

8. You will have blind spots – so see your leadership ophthalmologist regularly.

The story about the door of a passenger jet blowing off during a flight captured a lot of news. But it was interesting that the cause was found to be something as basic as loose parts and missing bolts on the doors of some of the planes. Someone missed seeing this during inspections, and that is the definition of a blind spot. All leaders have blind spots too. Just like we need to periodically visit an ophthalmologist to keep our eyes healthy, we also need others to help us limit our potential for leadership blindness.

9. If you want everyone to like you – don’t become a leader.

Sometimes a younger leader wants to be liked. It’s natural. They are new and trying to earn that credibility we just discussed. But with leadership comes decisions. And many of these decisions can be difficult including hiring, firing, promoting, and programming. Seldom will everyone agree with all your decisions – that would make life a bit too easy. All leaders, especially younger ones, would benefit from having a veteran leader share about their experiences managing hard decisions and the corollary relational fallout that can often follow.

10. The more successful you become – the more you will need wise counsel, not less.

From corporate executives to professional athletes, most have one thing in common – they have a coach. If people at the highest levels of success benefit from having a coach, it’s fair to say a young leader might too. The book of Proverbs is all about wisdom – how to find it and avoid being a fool. A coach can help guard you from fads and impulsive reactions. They can serve as a sounding board for ideas and major decisions. They can provide advice on issues you are facing as a new manager. They can encourage you to remain focused and disciplined.

Contact us to learn how our coaches can be a sounding board for you in your leadership.

Jay Desko is the President & CEO of The Center Consulting Group and brings experience in the areas of organizational assessment, leadership coaching, decision-making, and strategic questioning. Jay’s degrees include an M.Ed. in Instructional Systems Design from Pennsylvania State University and a Ph.D. in Organizational Behavior and Leadership from The Union Institute.